Again, I am in Palo Alto, California, eating dinner when I see something that makes my heart sing! And, weep. I’m starting to feel like Jeremiah.
I have been in mourning since early November. I go about my affairs and help all I can, everywhere I can, but my heart is heavy and I am at a loss as to why. I weep very easily. The sight of golden leaves here in Autumn makes me weep. The thought of my wife and children so far away makes me weep and yearn for their touch. A light rain makes me weep. The idea that we are Babylon makes me weep with deep regret and remorse. I weep as I write down these thoughts. I am as sad and remorseful as I can ever remember being and I sense that in the Spirit something terrible, very terrible is just beyond the horizon.
I know we Americans are not the same people we were as I grew up. We have become something altogether different. Very little really matters anymore. It’s about cars, clothes, prestige and appearances and who has the most toys. Yet, in Africa and Asia, and some places even here in America, life is still a daily struggle for so many to survive and attain enough food for just one more meal. I am ashamed of who we have become and how full of lust and greed we are. We base every decision on what we can get out of the proposition rather than whether or not it is right or wrong. We are all so wrapped up in ourselves and what we want that we completely forget or ignore the suffering that goes on all around us. What a sad commentary for the people from the land of the free and the brave! I am ashamed; deeply and passionately ashamed of who we have become.
My heart grieves for the America of yesteryear when we loved to do right even at the cost of our own personal finances, honor and dignity. We were a people of great import! We made a difference in this world. Americans were bold and brash, but we cared for others deeply and were willing to give everything, even the last full measure when needed to help others. The people of other cultures cheered when we showed up to liberate them. They loved us simply because we loved them and they knew it! What a contrast to the America of today. I have been praying for God to have mercy for so long, and so deeply I missed the changes that occurred to our basic foundations. Then, I woke up and looked about me and realized the barbarians had taken over and now we are the outsiders – the estranged ones and the inmates are running the asylum.
What a moment of awakening that was and is. To now know, without a shadow of doubt that we are not God’s people. We are not the children of God. We are not the sons of light. It has been heartbreaking to me to say the least. I now know how Jeremiah felt as he wept for his people who kept pushing God away. It tears my heart to shreds to see my people so engrossed in lust, greed and pride and pushing God away at every opportunity. I weep for the world. Who will stand now as the last bastion of liberty? I weep for America. I weep for my family. I weep for God because He weeps over this too and He sent His only Son to die a despicable and terrible death so that none should perish! Woe! Woe! Woe unto us!
But God! In all my despair and grief, He opens a ray of sunshine that illuminates my soul and my Spirit! I see something that moves me so much I weep in public for the sheer joy and wonder of it. In all the gloom, darkness and debauchery I am continually surrounded by there opens a glimmer of sheer, pure unadulterated love that moves me beyond words. It touches places in my heart I had completely forgotten in all this self-pity over America’s demise.
As I sit and enjoy dinner, I observe a tall very elderly gentleman escorting his frail wife to dinner. He is at her side, caring for her and helping her along. He is doing this with joy on his face and he is not ashamed of how inept she has become. She is less than five feet tall and very thin, and can barely navigate independently and is obviously distracted by other people and the television overhead. She is not in command of all of her faculties. He escorts her to the bar, and waits until she gets around to the front of the stool where she waits patiently for her knight in shining armor. He reaches over the stool and wraps his arm around her ever so gently and lifts her onto the stool. He obtains bread and butter and prepares her bread which she dives into with abandon. He orders their meal and cares for her throughout with gentleness, kindness and love. It is amazing to see the love he has for her in his eyes, his demeanor and his touch. It is sacred. I am awed and feel privileged to be in their presence.
When the meal arrives, he prepares her meal and sets up her fork for each bite. She is distracted by an elderly Asian man who takes offense at her stare and asks her what her problem is. The knight laughs, apologizes and tells the man she loves people and means no offense. He understands now and apologizes himself. He watches the great love the knight has for his bride and he is awestruck too. I can see it. The bride has a hearty appetite and finishes her meal. Throughout the meal, the knight reaches over and caresses his bride and reassures her, lavishing love upon her every moment. I am beside myself. I tell him “it is a wonderful thing.” He says “she is my treasured bride.” I am undone and begin to weep.
I tell him again, “it is a wonderful thing” with tears running down my face and my heart in my hands. I am quite literally beside myself with emotion over this mans undying and unyielding love for his bride. He shows me a picture of his granddaughter and is so touched by the memory of it that he mists up too. I grab his hand and introduce myself and give him God’s blessing. I have never witnessed such a pure loving encounter and am astounded by the impact it has had on me. Then, he introduces himself, “I am Peter.” Wow!
God bless you all! God bless every member of your families! God bless America! God bless us – everyone who loves another person with such devotion and unselfishness! I am blessed by this encounter – more than I know! This knights love, respect, kindness and generosity has rescued my soul from a deep pit of enormous despair. I am still reeling from the impact. But God! He knows what I needed and He fed me! Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! Hallelujah for love! Love never, never fails!